A note to my son.
Dear my little man,
So yesterday we went for your Allergy testing. The results weren't what we were hoping, but let me start with how we got here.
A few months ago you showed a reaction to some formula which we hadn't tried before as you are breastfed. This devastated me as I felt guilty and selfish for even attempting to start formula as breastfeeding wasn't even problematic. Needless to say that was the last time we attempted any allergy-related foods/drinks until we sought some answers.
Your reaction involved hives amongst other things and we knew something wasn't right as is it very common for babies to react to certain formulas, but this was different.
After a few Doctor's appointments we finally got in on a cancellation at the Allergy Specialist which only took eight weeks. Yes, allergy testing have wait lists of up to six months, even longer so we were very lucky.
It was a rainy day and we drove into the city together, you, your Dad and I.
Your Dad and I looked at each other on the drive in and I made a comment on how much things have changed for us in the past year. It feels like a moment ago your Dad and I were taking day trips to the city for lunches, coffee dates and the like. Now we are driving our little man to his Allergy testing. Oh how responsible we now feel, and a little scared.
Without boring you with all the minute details we spent what felt like forever in the pokiest little clinic which in reality was just over three hours.
I had no idea what to expect and as a Mother you prepare yourself for the worst. Again, maybe this was my overreacting nature that crept in but no one had explained to me what was involved. All I knew that skin prick tests of up to thirty times on your little body petrified me! But I had to 'man up' and put on my brave face as that's my job! Lucky I had your super strong, 'in-touch with reality', amazing Dad to hold my hand whilst I held yours.
We held out your arms while you sat still on my lap and I had my lips near your tiny ears ready to sing our song to keep you calm. Much to my surprise, you didn't even flinch. Thankfully for everyone my singing voice was kept quiet.
Boy did you amaze me. You sat absolutely still watching intently as the Nurse pricked your arms over 10 times. Not a sound, not a movement and I was floored!
So we waited.
Milk, Eggs and Peanuts.
Not exactly the outcome we had hoped for.
A little challenge for us to now face together over the next few years, potentially the rest of your life.
Immediately my mind went in to overdrive thinking of what this meant for all things day to day and I couldn't help but feel sad and deflated. I was sad for what this could mean for you and those negative thoughts started running back into my mind.
'What about kids parties, will he be left out?'
'Will I be the mother that says - excuse me I've bought my own nut, egg and dairy free cupcake for my son to have'.
It really isn't as bad as it seems and it's moments like these where we count our blessings, not challenge them.
What put it all into perspective for me was the six or so other children that came and went in the time we were there also, all with the exact same allergies as you - and some even more.
Their bright little faces walking in and out from the Nurses and Doctors offices waiting to be tested, waiting for their results and then waiting for their education on what comes next - just like you.
I sat and stared at an artwork on the wall ahead of me while you slept in your pram and was calmed by it's sight. Winnie The Pooh, Eeyore and Piglet carved into clay. Winnie was flying above them with a balloon in his hand up towards the sky. Pooh Bear is the epitome of pure innocence and happiness.
Then I looked back at you and thought the same. You don't know any different now.
We came home and you were so tired so we had a quick dinner and put you to bed. Dad watched a bit of television whilst I sat with my one glass of wine and read over all of the information sheets that were given to us, which is exactly what the doctor ordered - true!
I read through every page, googled every allergy-related website and sat in it for a little while trying to decipher meaning.
I then made a promise to myself to not make this problematic. To not look at this as a major issue but more of another step in our journey as a family.
You always hear people say, 'Oh wait to you have kids, then you know real love'.
It's really true.
I would do anything for you little one. So would your Dad. We often look at each other and say, "How lucky are we" and we are in awe of you.
So here's my promise to you. Your allergies will not affect you or your day to day life. We will be cautious, proactive and normal. I promise to cook you the best meals that you will ever have, just like my Mum does.
But most of all I promise to make you the best damn dairy-free, egg-free and nut-free first birthday cake that will ever exist on this planet and it will taste super amazing!
Thank you for teaching me resilience, patience and love.
Love Mama
xxx
Not exactly the outcome we had hoped for.
A little challenge for us to now face together over the next few years, potentially the rest of your life.
Immediately my mind went in to overdrive thinking of what this meant for all things day to day and I couldn't help but feel sad and deflated. I was sad for what this could mean for you and those negative thoughts started running back into my mind.
'No scrambled eggs on toast for you'
'There goes Peanut butter'
'He won't be able to have birthday cake!''What about kids parties, will he be left out?'
'Will I be the mother that says - excuse me I've bought my own nut, egg and dairy free cupcake for my son to have'.
It really isn't as bad as it seems and it's moments like these where we count our blessings, not challenge them.
What put it all into perspective for me was the six or so other children that came and went in the time we were there also, all with the exact same allergies as you - and some even more.
Their bright little faces walking in and out from the Nurses and Doctors offices waiting to be tested, waiting for their results and then waiting for their education on what comes next - just like you.
I sat and stared at an artwork on the wall ahead of me while you slept in your pram and was calmed by it's sight. Winnie The Pooh, Eeyore and Piglet carved into clay. Winnie was flying above them with a balloon in his hand up towards the sky. Pooh Bear is the epitome of pure innocence and happiness.
Then I looked back at you and thought the same. You don't know any different now.
 |
| credit to artist |
We came home and you were so tired so we had a quick dinner and put you to bed. Dad watched a bit of television whilst I sat with my one glass of wine and read over all of the information sheets that were given to us, which is exactly what the doctor ordered - true!
I read through every page, googled every allergy-related website and sat in it for a little while trying to decipher meaning.
I then made a promise to myself to not make this problematic. To not look at this as a major issue but more of another step in our journey as a family.
You always hear people say, 'Oh wait to you have kids, then you know real love'.
It's really true.
I would do anything for you little one. So would your Dad. We often look at each other and say, "How lucky are we" and we are in awe of you.
So here's my promise to you. Your allergies will not affect you or your day to day life. We will be cautious, proactive and normal. I promise to cook you the best meals that you will ever have, just like my Mum does.
But most of all I promise to make you the best damn dairy-free, egg-free and nut-free first birthday cake that will ever exist on this planet and it will taste super amazing!
Thank you for teaching me resilience, patience and love.
Love Mama
xxx
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| Ironic? |
 |
| Sitting and waiting patiently |
I am confident that he will grow out of these allergies, as most kids do. Count your blessings that he's otherwise strong, healthy and obviously much-loved
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