Germophobia?- Or first-time parent syndrome?

Tis the season to be sick! Winter has arrived and it seems as though everywhere you turn, someone is coughing, sneezing or has a case of the sniffles.

This has been a big topic of conversation at Mother's Group the past few weeks as the majority of us are first-time mothers and have intense protective mode switched on ensuring no one is passing on any nasty germs to our beloved babies. (I think this switch was turned on the moment they were born).

This is in no way directed at anyone in particular. Sometimes we don't realise we are beginning a cold before passing on germs. There isn't much we can do about this. This is just what I've noticed in the past 11 months of being a Mama, especially the past few days which have been a bit tough with a sick little man waking up sometimes 10 times a night, coughing and in tears due to a nasty cold.

Before having little man, if someone had a cold or flu around me (or worse - Gastro!), I could walk away and secretly smother my hands in alcohol rub and pray that I don't see them again for the rest of the day.

Now having a child it's not that easy.

Everyone wants to see you, have a play date, attend a party you've planned and cuddle and kiss him despite being sick 'oh at least three days ago'.

My absolute favourite things to hear are:

• "I was sick last week but I am better now - man, it was horrible"
• "It was only a 24 hour bug"
• "I am on antibiotics now so I am feeling much better"
• "I'm not contagious anymore"

Nope! 

I read a brilliant article recently about how it should be up to the parent to decide whether or not to expose their child to a recently ill friend/child/family member. It is not up to YOU, the sick person to decide when you are 'better' or 'well enough' to be around us. No thank you!

I have such a strong opinion for many reasons. Here are the main ones:

Firstly, I do not want Gastro. Sadly a lot of people thing that Gastro is a 24-48 hour bug that passes and once you've stopped your symptoms, you are back to normal. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Did you know you can be contagious for up to 2 weeks after your symptoms stop? 

Did you also know that Gastro can be transferred by simple touching of a door handle, handshake, and food prepared by someone who may have had the virus in their family of late?

There are also two types of Gastroenteritis viruses that are around at the moment. Rotavirus (common in children) and Norovirus. Norovirus is particularly violent for both adults and children - so please stay away! Google them!

Secondly, work life is hard enough already then having to take more time off because your child is sick, then wait - you get sick too! 

Baby gets sick - take time off to care for them.

Partner then gets the same illness - have to take time off to care for baby whilst they are unwell.

YOU get sick - now you have to take time off to look after yourself! 

That could be a long week taken off work because someone else was careless. 

Thirdly, and this is a big one, the severity of your symptoms may be minor compared to that of someone else - especially a small child. So you get a cough and a runny nose. But the child you cuddled on the weekend at the birthday party you attended now is in hospital with a chest infection. True story, has happened to more than one person I know. Especially if the babies were born premature or had complications at birth so are at heightened risk of infection. 

You had a vomiting bug on the weekend that only lasted 24 hours - the family you were around is now all sick with the same bug and the smallest child is severely dehydrated and won't take fluids. 

I'm not completely ignorant and know that children get sick. We all get sick. It helps build our immune system. This is not my point. 

My point stands that if it can be prevented - prevent it. 

If we can allow parents to make the decision to attend the party of your recently ill child, then let them know. 

Don't attend functions if you or your children have been ill in the past week. Mostly likely, you are still contagious despite 'feeling better'. 

This is how nasty bugs are transmitted.

Of course, children will attend Day Care and School and get all types of bugs. We will cross that bridge when we come to it. But in the meantime, don't put others at risk of getting sick if you can prevent it.

My family has a 'one week rule'. If you have shown any sort of yucky symptoms in the past week, firstly let ME know as the parent and I will decide whether or not to hang around you. My own mother has been very understanding of this and knows my stance. 

I'm not just protecting my son, I am protecting myself. Caring for a small child when you are fevering is the worst - I've been there. 

Summarising my passionate points here:

• Viruses/Bugs can be contagious for up to 2 weeks. More than likely, you are still contagious despite feeling better.
• Let others know you have been sick in the past WEEK (not 2 days ago). 
• Allow parents to make their own decision about whether to catch up with you - especially if you are hosting a gathering at your place. 

Yes, I am a germophobe.  

Call it first-time parent syndrome. 

Or maybe just a protective (and smart) Mama. 

We will all get some sort of illness over the years to come. I'm not naive. 

But I do speak for the Mama's I've met in my parenting journey who have struggled with this like I have. A lot of people don't feel the need to disclose their recent illness - but it is your obligation to.

Just a take a second thought of who else you may pass your bug on to and the effect it may have on the child and an entire family.

Have a read of this:

Sick Kid Etiquette - Josefa Pete
(or copy this link into your broswer)
http://m.essentialbaby.com.au/toddler/caring-for-toddler/he-has-gastro-but-thats-okay-right-sick-kid-etiquette-20150518-gh48m3.html

Homemade Ferrero Rochers

So what do Stay-At-Home-Mums do?

Go to Tupperware Parties!

What do you learn at Tupperware parties apart from how awesome Tupperware truly is?... How to make homemade Forrero Rochers using Ice Trays!

Ingredients:

• 1 bag of Nestle Cooking Chocolate pieces
• 50grams Copha (melted)
• 1 bag of crushed nuts
• Nutella (or similar)

Method:

1. Melt Copha in microwave
2. Melt chocolate seperately (either microwave or stovetop, whatever you prefer).
3. Mix Copha and Chocolate together adding in the crushed nuts.
4. Scoop small teaspoon amount of chocolate mixture into ice cube tray or similar halfway up. (I used Heinz baby freezer trays with the pop out on the bottom).
5. Place in freezer for 10 minutes until set.
6. Take out, spoon small amount of Nutella in the middle of each chocolate, then add another layer of chocolate mixture to the top.
7. Place in freezer for another 10-15 minutes until set.

Simple! 

And delicious!

Dear Son, you have allergies.

The reason why the posts have been absent the past couple of weeks...

A note to my son.

Dear my little man,

So yesterday we went for your Allergy testing. The results weren't what we were hoping, but let me start with how we got here. 

A few months ago you showed a reaction to some formula which we hadn't tried before as you are breastfed. This devastated me as I felt guilty and selfish for even attempting to start formula as breastfeeding wasn't even problematic. Needless to say that was the last time we attempted any allergy-related foods/drinks until we sought some answers. 

Your reaction involved hives amongst other things and we knew something wasn't right as is it very common for babies to react to certain formulas, but this was different. 

After a few Doctor's appointments we finally got in on a cancellation at the Allergy Specialist which only took eight weeks. Yes, allergy testing have wait lists of up to six months, even longer so we were very lucky. 

It was a rainy day and we drove into the city together, you, your Dad and I. 

Your Dad and I looked at each other on the drive in and I made a comment on how much things have changed for us in the past year. It feels like a moment ago your Dad and I were taking day trips to the city for lunches, coffee dates and the like. Now we are driving our little man to his Allergy testing. Oh how responsible we now feel, and a little scared. 

Without boring you with all the minute details we spent what felt like forever in the pokiest little clinic which in reality was just over three hours. 

I had no idea what to expect and as a Mother you prepare yourself for the worst. Again, maybe this was my overreacting nature that crept in but no one had explained to me what was involved. All I knew that skin prick tests of up to thirty times on your little body petrified me! But I had to 'man up' and put on my brave face as that's my job! Lucky I had your super strong, 'in-touch with reality', amazing Dad to hold my hand whilst I held yours. 

We held out your arms while you sat still on my lap and I had my lips near your tiny ears ready to sing our song to keep you calm. Much to my surprise, you didn't even flinch. Thankfully for everyone my singing voice was kept quiet. 

Boy did you amaze me. You sat absolutely still watching intently as the Nurse pricked your arms over 10 times. Not a sound, not a movement and I was floored! 

So we waited. 

Milk, Eggs and Peanuts.

Not exactly the outcome we had hoped for.

A little challenge for us to now face together over the next few years, potentially the rest of your life.

Immediately my mind went in to overdrive thinking of what this meant for all things day to day and I couldn't help but feel sad and deflated. I was sad for what this could mean for you and those negative thoughts started running back into my mind.

'No scrambled eggs on toast for you'

'There goes Peanut butter'

'He won't be able to have birthday cake!'
'What about kids parties, will he be left out?'
'Will I be the mother that says - excuse me I've bought my own nut, egg and dairy free cupcake for my son to have'.

It really isn't as bad as it seems and it's moments like these where we count our blessings, not challenge them.

What put it all into perspective for me was the six or so other children that came and went in the time we were there also, all with the exact same allergies as you - and some even more.
Their bright little faces walking in and out from the Nurses and Doctors offices waiting to be tested, waiting for their results and then waiting for their education on what comes next - just like you.

I sat and stared at an artwork on the wall ahead of me while you slept in your pram and was calmed by it's sight. Winnie The Pooh, Eeyore and Piglet carved into clay. Winnie was flying above them with a balloon in his hand up towards the sky. Pooh Bear is the epitome of pure innocence and happiness.
Then I looked back at you and thought the same. You don't know any different now.

credit to artist

We came home and you were so tired so we had a quick dinner and put you to bed. Dad watched a bit of television whilst I sat with my one glass of wine and read over all of the information sheets that were given to us, which is exactly what the doctor ordered - true!

I read through every page, googled every allergy-related website and sat in it for a little while trying to decipher meaning.

I then made a promise to myself to not make this problematic. To not look at this as a major issue but more of another step in our journey as a family.

You always hear people say, 'Oh wait to you have kids, then you know real love'.

It's really true.

I would do anything for you little one. So would your Dad. We often look at each other and say, "How lucky are we" and we are in awe of you.

So here's my promise to you. Your allergies will not affect you or your day to day life. We will be cautious, proactive and normal. I promise to cook you the best meals that you will ever have, just like my Mum does.

But most of all I promise to make you the best damn dairy-free, egg-free and nut-free first birthday cake that will ever exist on this planet and it will taste super amazing!

Thank you for teaching me resilience, patience and love.

Love Mama
xxx

Ironic?

Sitting and waiting patiently